Is Your IFS Therapist the Right Fit for You? Sentur Health’s Guide to Finding the Best Match for Your Healing Journey
Choosing an Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapist is deeply personal. You’re not just selecting a professional—you’re entrusting someone to guide you through the most intimate and complex parts of your inner world. The right therapist can help you build trust with your parts, access more Self-energy, and create real transformation. So the process of finding the right one for you can certainly feel long and daunting.
But how do you know if they’re the right fit? Dive into Sentur Health’s guide to finding the best match for you individual healing journey.
IFS is more than just talking through your problems—it’s about building relationships with your parts, fostering self-energy, and learning to unblend when protectors take over. That usually requires a strong therapeutic alliance, deep trust, and a therapist who truly understands how to work with parts. Some therapists will feel like a natural match, while others may not align with your system’s needs.
So here are some of our thoughts on how to tell if your IFS therapist is a good fit for you.
1. Are They Formally Trained in IFS?
IFS has gained popularity in recent years, which means many therapists list it as a specialty—even if they’ve only taken a weekend course or read a book about parts work. While any therapist can integrate IFS concepts into their work, it is important to note that there’s a difference between true IFS training and general parts-based therapy.
IFS therapists go through a structured, multi-level certification process through the IFS Institute. Based on the level of training, here is what you might expect the therapist has covered:
Level 1 Certification – Core IFS training with supervised practice.
Level 2 & 3 Certifications – Advanced applications, often focusing on specific trauma populations.
Certified IFS Therapist – Additional supervision and clinical experience requirements.
Many therapists may list “IFS” on their website or Psychology Today profile, but only those who have completed formal training will have the deep expertise needed to guide the process effectively.
How to Check Their Training
If you’re unsure about your therapist’s background, you can:
ask about their IFS training level and whether they’re certified;
look up their credentials on the IFS Institute directory to confirm formal training.
If a therapist claims to do IFS but hasn’t had formal training, they may not fully understand the model’s nuances, which could potentially affect your progress. But it is also important to note that If you can’t access a fully certified IFS therapist, that doesn’t mean therapy isn’t worth it. It just means that it will be good to set realistic expectations about the amount and depth of IFS work they might be able to support you through and about the reality that you may need to take more ownership of learning the model yourself.
2. Do They Help You Build Relationships with Your Parts?
IFS isn’t about forcing parts into the open—it’s about creating safety and curiosity for them to emerge naturally. To help this happen, therapists (IFS ones and not only) often work towards creating and promoting a therapeutic alliance - a special kind of therapist-client trust that is pivotal to the outcomes of therapy for the individual working on their healing. The right therapist knows how to hold space for your system, rather than rushing the process or making you feel like you’re “doing IFS wrong.”
The right IFS therapist for you:
✅ will help you gently connect with protectors and exiles at your own pace;
✅ will encourage you to build trust with parts, rather than try to push past them;
✅ will normalize the learning process, understanding that IFS is like learning a new language—it takes time to feel fluent.
With a potential mismatch:
🚩 you will feel like you’re guessing which part is present, with no clear guidance;
🚩 sessions will feel repetitive or aimless, without deepening your connection to parts;
🚩 parts will be expected to “come out” on demand, rather than through fostering a natural emergence.
Some parts will take time to feel safe enough to engage. If your therapist doesn’t hold space for this process, you may feel stuck or discouraged.
3. Do They Help You Unblend from Protective Parts?
In IFS therapy we often say: “All parts are welcome.” But this most certainly doesn’t mean that we should let a protector run every session. A skilled IFS therapist knows how to recognize and work with protectors to prevent that.
Protectors—like inner critics, overachievers, and intellectualizers—often show up in therapy to control the process. The right therapist will help you unblend from these parts, rather than allowing them to dominate every session.
The Right IFS Therapist:
✅ will recognize when a protector is speaking, rather than engaging with it as your core Self;
✅ will gently guide you toward more Self-energy, rather than reinforcing protective loops;
✅ will help parts feel heard while also inviting space for deeper healing.
With a potential mismatch:
🚩Sessions feel like talk therapy rather than parts work.
🚩You find yourself intellectualizing instead of experiencing.
🚩The therapist doesn’t actively guide unblending and lets the same protectors dominate each session.
While being unable to unblend even with the right therapist can happen at times through the natural ebbs and flows of therapy, it shouldn’t be the norm when you have chosen to do IFS.
4. Are They Trauma-Informed and Creating a Safe Internal Space?
You might have heard of and even chosen IFS precisely because it is trauma-informed. IFS is indeed a powerful model for working with trauma. What this also means is that safety has to come first. If your therapist is pushing deep work too soon, you may end up feeling overwhelmed or dysregulated.
The Right IFS Therapist:
✅ will recognize when to slow down and prioritize stabilization;
✅ will help you develop containment tools before diving into deep work;
✅ will create a space where no topic feels off-limits, even difficult ones like suicidal ideation or shame-based parts.
With a potential mismatch:
🚩Sessions leave you feeling worse, not better more often than not.
🚩You feel like certain topics are “off-limits”, even if your therapist doesn’t say so explicitly.
🚩Your therapist doesn’t seem fully comfortable working with big emotions.
Some topics require therapists who have done their own deep work—because you can’t fake Self-energy. If a therapist hasn’t processed their own fears around certain issues, your parts will sense it immediately.
5. Do They Adapt to Your Needs or Follow a Rigid Formula?
IFS like all other therapeutic modalities isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach. You will hear a lot of seasoned therapists use a mix of therapeutic modalities in their practice. Similarly, a skilled IFS therapist tailors the process, treatment program, and approach they use to where you are in your journey.
The Right IFS Therapist:
✅ will adjust sessions based on what your parts are ready for;
✅ will recognize when a structured session is helpful vs. when free-flow exploration is needed;
✅ will balance structure and flexibility, much like a river with strong but not rigid banks.
With a Potential Mismatch:
🚩 it feels like the session follows a script rather than meeting you where you are;
🚩 the sessions feel too rigid or too open-ended, without clear direction;
🚩 you consistently feel like you’re not doing IFS “right;”
While feeling like you’re doing IFS “wrong” is quite normal and even almost a right of passage at the beginning of your journey, the feeling shouldn’t stay with you permanently. If you constantly feel like you're doing IFS “wrong” or not making progress, it may not be about you - it may be because there is a mismatch between your needs and your therapist’s style of doing IFS.
6. Do You Feel Like Therapy is Actually Moving You Forward?
IFS is a deep but sometimes slow process. It’s normal to have weeks where change feels subtle, but overall, therapy should feel progressive. IFS therapy by design should help you feel more connected to your parts, more self-led, and more grounded in your healing.
If you’re not seeing progress, ask yourself:
Questions to Ask Yourself:
Am I feeling more connected to my parts over time?
Am I more aware of my protectors and their positive intentions?
Am I noticing shifts in how I relate to my emotions and experiences?
Do I have more self-compassion and less inner criticism?
Do I feel like I’m building momentum in my healing, even if it’s slow?
If Therapy Feels Stagnant:
Bring it up with your therapist and ask for their perspective.
Consider whether protectors might be blocking you from seeing progress.
If nothing changes after you bring up your concerns, it could mean you and your therapist aren’t the right match - or that you’re ready for someone who can take you deeper.
Trust Yourself: Finding the Right IFS Therapist is About Fit, Not Just Credentials
Not every IFS therapist is the right match for every person. It’s okay to check in with yourself and with them when things don’t feel right and if the situation calls for it - switch therapists. The goal is to feel supported, not confused. Safe, not pressured. Empowered, not dependent.
If something feels off, trust that and discuss it with your therapist. Be prepared that there might just be a mismatch. Therapy works best when you feel like you’re moving toward more Self-energy, more clarity, and more connection with your system. And every IFS therapist wants to help their clients move forward on their journey. So addressing when things don’t feel like they are working and evaluating how you feel through the process is beneficial for both of you.
A mismatch might feel overwhelming but it can also be an opportunity to find the right therapist for you.
And even when you find the right IFS therapist remember that you might still struggle between sessions. It is important to keep in mind that this is absolutely normal. In fact, the bigger part of healing happens in the 99.5% of time outside therapy. So give yourself the grace and support you need and deserve.
Deepen Your IFS Work Outside of Therapy
If you’re looking for additional ways to support your IFS journey beyond therapy, Sentur can help you stay engaged between sessions. With parts mapping, journaling, guided practices by some of the top IFS voices, and a supportive peer community, Sentur provides structure to continue your work in a self-led way outside of the therapist's office so you can make the most out of the time with a professional.
Find more clarity in your IFS practice!